Before Christmas

This post is to do some house dreaming with some friends - though I've never seen the home :)
We are looking for function, affordability, and style - but in that order


Boho room is easy. It's just about pattern on pattern to give it that hippie vibe:

 

 

 

 

She wants the fairy lights, and I think adding a garland will be a nice touch too, as well as canopy drapes from those tapestries.

My only issue is, if you pintrest "boho bedroom" it has a very sloppy look. I think that brass bed will totally change her room into a classier boho, a more sophisticated boho. And she is both. The picture below shows how a mix of so many styles all can mix together for this room:

 

The next bedroom should also be pretty straightforward. I think that scandanavian style often has mattress right on the floor for a "minimalistic" approach. To keep this bedroom trendy it has to be somewhat sparse. But for the bedstand I do like this long white bench - easily made, could be sat on and have multiple function.

 

The picture below is too colorful, but it does give a general visual for the following:

naked bulbs hanging for a sidelight over the bench OR a stump. A stump would also be ideal because it would bring in that nature element. Also, an unpainted wooden crate nailed to the wall could house soccer ballballs (turned upwards) and one front facing overtop for things like books. It would also give a little unfinished pale wood to an otherwise painted room, and some small parts of pale wood does help that minimalistic monochromatic feel.

 

The third room I don't know about... it could go so many ways... but I'm thinking the easiest thing is to just take whatever is available and paint it bright colors:

This nursery below is so appealing to me and the feel could be replicated in a pre-teen room - I just love it

 

 

 

 

But above has a lot of things that may take a long time to figure out. So, below is a much simpler fix - a wall mural could give her room some personality without needing more than some paint.

 

 

 

 

BATHROOMS
I'm not sure what you're working with, but I like how in the photo below all the drama comes from paint. The sink itself is plain. The mirror is a modern circle. But this bathroom looks cool without being a complete remodel (er, again, not sure what you're working with)

 

I also love a wood piece, when you can find one, for towels. If you can put it into the hall it helps keep the towels from smelling in the humidity, it gives more bathroom space, and decorates your hallway.

 

 

 

MASTER BEDROOM

below is just  a pretty room. But having matching side tables with matching lights and matching pictures will give a room a more "expensive" feel. So if you're going to work with what is available, trying for this feel in the scale and layout is a pretty nice pattern.

 

 

LIVINGROOM

I don't love the gallery wall on this first picture, but it does have a good concept of basic layout that would work with a lot of furniture options

 

 

If you wont have your house character and poshy furniture being the wow factors, creating a gallery wall is such a great way to add in that drama.

 

Because you don't want your house to look chaotic, a gallery wall should be on only one wall while the rest of the walls are very simple - maybe one large item, but not busy.

The room below embraces Scandinavian simple, which would be an easy look to do through your house because it can be chic but minimal.

 

 

However, a glam style might be more your personality. Which requires a little more thought but I think is just as doable.

 

 

Having one statement piece is great - and if that could be a couch, wonderful. But it doesn't have to be a couch. Take the coolest thing that you can find/get/have and just make THAT your statement piece. Whatever it is.

The other trick is, to have all dark walls or one dark wall. Having a navy wall makes a bit of sexy sophistication with its moody lighting. You can make the things you have a lot more dramatic by having them on a dark wall. It's becoming trendy right now so you'd be edgy.

 

 

 

I know you said there wasn't room for a table, but I just want to see about that. If your kitchen is too small for an eating area, I would be nice to squeeze one into the livingroom...

I also love light rooms - and I actually have a large amount of gray paint (4 gallons?) that you could check out too. I keep thinking that'll I'll paint my yellow walls but..... not anytime soon.

Below is just a visual of how some basic elements can change tone by adding blingy accessories. If you find some great deal on vivid large-scale accessories, you can get by with a pretty plain backdrop.

 

I'm exited for you all because...

"I like" becomes "I am"

and I like the idea of a sense of belonging, a sense of intentional purposeful meaningful life, and creating your own home with your own identity for a wholesome place that is focused on living to glorify God

 

So to say "I like living within my means

I like pretty practical rooms

I like having our family have a place to pray and eat together

I like home as a place of peace and refocusing

and eliminating clutter to embrace the eternal"

means that it what your home becomes

 

by choosing to live it out

and the first step, creating the home, is a beautiful part of that journey

Hence, I'm excited for you all!

 

 

becoming the woman I want to be

I can remember that feeling of growing-up, the uncomfortable one, when I didn't like the memory because if I could re-do, I would have said something different. For example, embarrassing moments of loud laughing over something that you, seconds later, discover was a highly serious matter. Or making yourself vulnerable to someone and feeling rejected.

And then of course, the phase of trying to know myself and pushing my own views too far, as I confirmed them in my own heart - which translates into lacking grace for others and being harsh with failures, because I hadn't learned to forgive myself either.

That was before learning Eleanor Roosevelts "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

That was before learning who I was, and feeling comfortable and confident with myself, even when I hadn't put makeup on

That was before learning how to let go of yesterday and embrace today because, tomorrow comes quickly

But this week I had a reminder
of what it's like to not yet be the woman I want to be

One of my husbands co-workers stopped by to drop off something. I knew his dad was in the hospital and he looked weary. I tried to make a joke with him as I took the item to pass on to my hubby. I tried to be casual and entertaining, and lighten his heavy shoulders. But my jokes were slightly negative, making fun of my husband, or providing him the opportunity to do so.

and he didn't take it. He looked at me in slight confusion and disinterest; he was too tired to play social norm games

and then I remembered two things

I don't LIKE jokes that are negative. That isn't who I want to be. I've had this epiphany in the past.

For example my husband came up to an old man that I was talking to at church and teased "Are you flirting with her? I'm so sorry but she's taken - I don't want your heart to get broken."

Whereas he could have said, "I see you're talking with my wife. Do you have room in your backseat? Think you could take her home with you?

They're both a joke. But one is positive and one is negative and it takes far more wit (the risky of being cheesy is always there) and creates a far more positive environment to do the first. Poking fun of other people isn't going to destroy anything, but there is less charm and wholesome energy for sure.

So I had dropped the ball there.
I had also missed the opportunity to respond to my gracious instinct to just put my hand on his arm and say, "I heard that your dad has been in the hospital. Its sounds like a very difficult time for you and your family. I'm so sorry to hear about this. Is there any way we can pray for you?"

That's the woman I want to be.
And I'm not always her.
I know that is my true values though. And that it is a matter of being authentic and real.

There are those times that can't be helped - passing gas at a pretty dinner party or having your clingy toddler yank your skirt down in the checkout line.

But those moment are easier to laugh at then when we fail ourselves.

When we yell at our child who was just scared and we were even more scared. And we didn't want to yell.

When we tell our sister something rude because we have a different vision and in the end it doesn't matter and rudeness was the only problem in the whole thing.

When we hurt our husband and have days of his wounded heart because our tongue was moving before our brain was.

This all came to mind because a friend told me of frustration in her marriage, that her husband has fallen back into old habits of disconnect and avoiding her pushing (confrontation) - he avoids her pushing for them to fight to get closer. so he pulls away.

Several years ago they had struggled here and my girlfriend had been to the point of walking away from her marriage. Life got dramatic enough that she saw a counselor and really was brokenhearted over how crazy far everything had gone and that she honestly wanted her life and couldn't believe she had just about lost it all. The counselor then added her husband into the therapy and they could hash out some issues there. But from what I could tell, my girlfriend was the one who had completely changed. Her perspective on what she wanted and who she was and who she wanted to be, they were all different. It was her that changed.

New thought:
When we talk about accountability in church I usually cringe
It sounds like the right to come up to someone and judge them
Or worse yet expect them to treat you like their priest, where they need to do weekly confession to you

What accountability really is makes me glow with the beauty of it

Accountability is me knowing someone deeply enough to know their truth
To know what their core values are
and remind them of it when life gets cloudy and they forget

For this girlfriend, I remind her that sliding back into old habits of disconnect is something she is in control of through her own choice of happiness and perspective. That protecting herself from being vulnerable by fighting when frightened, or avoiding it all together - this is the fight and flight that she had dealt with long ago.

The real her doesn't fight OR flight.
The real girl that I know, the woman she is and wants to be, values grace. Values allowing him to be imperfect. Values giving him the benefit of the doubt because his actual track record (not the one she imagines when feeling insecure) shows that he's deeply loving and loyal and committed. And Values receiving grace for herself and living in that with a grateful heart.

And the woman she is and wants to be - that woman doesn't get her security from her husband anyway. She gets it from her relationship with a Heavenly Father who has loved her with an everlasting love and calls her beautiful. And calls her enough. And calls her his own.

So as I turn over my own day, and that of my friends, I smile at the Bible verse, "His mercies are new every morning" and I'm glad that a fresh start, and a fresh perspective, is available at any time. And that we can live in my own core values EVEN IF those around us are wrong. This is freedom. This is living true to ourselves. This is living in grace.

split level home makeover on a budget

I visited my friend Tia about two years ago. They had recently moved to a split-level home with builder grade dated basics. The upstairs main room housed furniture around the TV with dead space behind it.

Because of the layout, it took Tia a few attempts of adjusting before she figured out her main room - on a tight budget. And two years later when I visited again, it looked quiet different.

 

She found one sofa on craigslist, and though it's a little shabby, there is no scolding her cat, dog, or four children when they utilize it. The other sofa was $30 at a garage sale. And her rug was a craigslist $40 find. The coffee table was built from a curb reject bottom with aunties old deck boards as an industrial top.

She split the awkward room into two sections and simplified the crowded kitchen by moving the dining table out here.

The table legs (I need a picture Tia) were from a $20 table. The top was discarded and $30 worth of lumber on top created a farmhouse table that was bleached with liming wax. The legs and top surprisingly blended together nicely with their coat of liming wax.

The chandelier was another thrift store find - spray painted white to update it. And these retro-modern chairs were blue, but painted white. The two end chairs were wicker from Tia's mom that she incorporated with new cushion covers to go from 90s red to subtle.

Her gallery is a blend of photography, art, and meaningful concepts - all in a coordinating color scheme and neutral layering.

Each piece in this livingroom was a make-do or slow find, or usually both.

Tia has always impressed me with her eye for simplifying and arranging what is already available. She has a gift for seeing magic amid the functional. Here are some of her secrets:

1. Its okay to not have everything at once. Small steps over time are a healthy balance for the many balls we all juggle.

2. Get up early. Early enough to soak in steady silent minutes. With coffee, your Bible, your husband, or just in stillness. But ample time to adjust from sleep to wake. Then the day can be productive and creative.

3. Make intentional effort. Even when it doesn't seem to be returned.

4. Figure out what works and what makes you happy and have a reason and a purpose for everything in the home. If it doesn't have a major (usually double) purpose, it doesn't deserve to fill up your life. We can't do the important things if we're busy managing stuff.  Get rid of it by the trash bag full.

5. Savor old memories and old friends and invest in the future - but enjoy and appreciate and live fully present, today. That sounds too cliché. So practically it looks like this for their family; ditch the phone when you're with someone else. No one can leave the house before they hug mama goodbye. Sunday nights have a tradition of popcorn, apples, and cheese for dinner. Simple, filling, and time to connect. And girl weekends, dinner parties, and good food are a part of regular life for catching up and cherishing wholesome relationships.

So how does she do it? How does she fit in work and 4 kids and hubby and pets and church and exercise and writing a novel!

This is what I love about her livingroom. And her perspective.
She finds a way to make it work by getting creative with what can be done.

When I arrived she had no time to cook. So together we gathered and she poured wine and chopped a few veggies and took things out of the fridge. She laid out whole wheat pitas and a pile of different pizza options - pears, onions, fresh tomato and precooked bacon, blue and goat cheese and cheddar and so on. 

The pita tasted like a delicious thin crust, we all shared each others creations, and clean up was a part of the fellowship. It was amazing to eat and no pre-prep and enjoyable to just share the kitchen - yet a very grown up and gourmet experience.

Hers: cranberry pear blue cheese and spinach
Mine: pineapple feta spinach orange pepper bacon and balsamic drizzle

(Salad was made by Heather but that amazingness is a recipe and a topic for another post)