Simplicity through Sabbath

I've pondered about it and wrestled with it.

I have friends who take life slow. And I find myself judging them. Wondering why they aren't utilizing time more seriously.

And I have friends whose lives are thick with juggling and I find myself judging that too. Wondering why they don't prioritize marriage and family time.

And then I have myself. Which likes to judge in areas that I feel guilty in. So both of these extremes are a problem for me.

Balance is almost always the answer for everything. But balance usually looks a little different for every individual. Which means it needs to be a specific journey for every individual and every family. The thing is, life dictates enough elements that even when we think we figure it out, everything changes and we have to start again.

A new baby, for example, removes all balance. Or even school season and summer season.

It's easy to know what I don't want.
It's much harder to know how to achieve what I do want.

I don't want full hectic schedules.
I do want family dinner time.

I don't want to fill my life with domestic stuff. I need variety.
I do want a clean house and healthy meals.

I don't want my time to be so full of cooking and cleaning and cramming in my hobbies that I am not present or available for kids or hubby.
I do want regular dates and times with my husband.

I don't want to let my interests - a good yes - take away my best yes.
I do want ministries outside of my own family.

I do want enough time to sip and type and reflect or take a bath or read or exercise.
I don't want to clear my schedule of duties so that I can scroll facebook more or so that I can use my time to entertain myself. I want to be productive and have something to show for my time.

I don't want to make life all about me - either in need for approval and achievement or in need for relaxation and self centered living.
I want to follow the Lord and the leading of His spirit and use the natural interests and talents He gave me.

I read a book by Kari Kent called Breathe that talked about Sabbath simplicity.
My dad, a minister whose Sundays are anything but restful, had discovered this principal and encouraged me to carve out a day that was a day of rest (probably not a Sunday since I dash from making breakfast to music practice to Sunday School to playing hymns to teaching Junior church to playing in Praise and Worship and there isn't much time for feeling refueled since I don't even listen to the sermon). At that time I scoffed and felt like there was no possible way to take a day off when I was the mother of four very young children and every day demanded chaos. But he patiently encouraged all the same. When I read about Sabbath Simplicity there was finally a connect. Here is what I learned.

Traditionally it takes 3 days of preparation for a Sabbath and 3 days of reflection afterwards.

In my opinion, hard work is commanded of us. That a man shouldn't eat if he doesn't work. That God set up this because going to the ant and learning how to manage our time and control ourselves is healthy for us. God wants us to work hard. It's good for our character.

Sabbath is the day where we realize that we are dependent on God. That success is not up to how hard we work. Sabbath is the day where we know that we can't outdo God. He rested the 7th day. Sabbath is the day where we spend our energy on restoring and refreshing through connection. Where we remember the truly important things. Where we have God time and kid time and me time. It's mainly family time - this isn't about others outside the home (though sometimes others my join your own circle) - it's about rebuilding as a family unit. No laundry or dishes or errands. Maybe paper plates and a picnic. Maybe a nap. Maybe reading books. Maybe bored kids who learn to be still and not need spoon fed entertainment. Maybe family games. Probably a lot of parent time investing into loving through playing. Having the time to get down on the floor and build legos together. Praise and encouragement. Uplifting music. Laughter. Popcorn and tents. Spiritual discussions and Bible time. The whole family being together. Looking up bird names and tree names. Listening to kid chatter, earnestly. Hiking through a meadow. Going to bed early. A day to restore through the things we value most. And to carve space for that by being free of the daily grind.

This means, if you're a hard worker, that it takes 3 intentional days to prepare.
Figuring out how to take a whole day off means laundry and meals and groceries and housework and errands and appointments and yardwork and ministry and responsibilities all have to be done ahead of time.

It means we are teaching our children to be proactive and intentional.

The three days of reflection shouldn't be three days of crazy catch up.
It should mean we can pause to ponder what it was our kid was struggling with when they shared that story about school.
It means follow up questions to our husband on what he meant by his unguarded Easter day wishes from when he was on the hammock
It means time to journal what was happening in our heart when we lay in the grass staring at clouds with the kiddos.
AND It means time to give and share with others from our energy and abundance and help those who are weary.

And then we prepare again.
Because our week would revolve around the sabbath.
Not every day needs to be empty - we would be lazy and bored.
But that the simplicity of one day helps us figure out our priorities of the other days.

It touched my heart deeply to think of setting up the week to rest on the sabbath. Because gods of other religions demand a variety of things. And what does the True God ask of us? Rest! He asks us to be intentional about a day of rest. AMAZING. And how will we understand His character and His love if we don't? This doesn't mean we pull back from doing good things. It means we keep the good things within the ability to take one day off from all of them.

And this is where simplicity finally made sense for me.

Our exchange student Lisa came from a christian home where the sabbath was practiced. The internet box was unplugged and so no one could be on their phones that day - no tv series and no social media. The dad made a big pot of delicious soup on Saturday evening and everyone ate it Sunday afternoon when they came home from church. Then the whole family napped. Dinner was easy foods like apples and cheese and bread a butter and olives and dried meats. There was coffee where everyone gathered after naps. So multiple times the family just gathered around the table to be together. Lisa said the hardest part was Saturday night, that at midnight the Sabbath had started so they had to leave parties and be at home. And in their culture, even innocent gatherings didn't start until 11pm and lasted until 2 or 3am. It was a sacrifice to come home by midnight - especially if you knew you could nap the next day. But this was a way that their family implemented a day of rest - especially for a house full of teens.

At first I found this legalistic. Why only Sunday to set apart as holy and separate? Aren't we supposed to live holy and separate every day of the week?

Now I find more and more value in their purposefulness.

A Sabbath for me means a lot of changes.
Basically menu planning and intentional grocery trips and laundry and housecleaning. I have to be much more organized in everything. Especially so that afterwards isn't a catch up rush, but a time of reflection and giving to others. However, this is my answer, what the balance of hard work and simplicity looks like.